


i'm fire and you're ice but we're both suffocating (and it's not right)

by thatjaeger



Category: Flight Rising
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, OCs - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, So here we are, Swearing, look i just really wanted to write my sad boys bonding, mostly on vax's part, other characters mostly just mentioned, references to abuse but are very vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28700760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatjaeger/pseuds/thatjaeger
Summary: Zaiku is scheming, Lyuze is smug, and Vax just wanted to go to fucking sleep.In which, Vax gets dragged to a clan party and discovers someone who might have more in common with him than he initially thought.
Relationships: Vax & Lyuze, Yin & Vax
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	i'm fire and you're ice but we're both suffocating (and it's not right)

**Author's Note:**

> SO I FINALLY DID A THING [INTENSE JAZZ HANDS]
> 
> i've been working on this for what feels like a bajillion years and i'm finally posting it. i've been writing stuff for flight rising for a couple years now but this is going to be the first piece i post and also the longest thing i've written so i'm kinda nervous but also i'm sick of looking at it so here we go
> 
> you don't really need to know much about my characters before reading this but if you want to, you can read up a little on [vax](https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/28698954) and see what he and [yin](https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/24908545) (who doesn't have an official bio yet) look like
> 
> ALSO a huge thanks to one of my favorite people ever, multilefaiye, for being the best hype man and also just being really awesome in general and the dragons, connor and rhys, are their babies! please check them out on ao3 and fr! 
> 
> okay sorry enjoy

~/~/~/~

Vax is no stranger to negative emotions. They stick to him like a cloak, an invisible shield to keep others, like well meaning clan members and nosy outsiders, at bay. It’s not a perfect system, he’s aware of how fragile the whole illusion is, but it’s effective. 

He’s grateful for the distance, the uncrossable space between himself and everyone else, and yet he hates it. He hates it because his anger requires fuel, something, or someone, to burn and if there’s no task or dragon to focus his animosity towards, then he’s the one who is swallowed by the flames.

He knows it’s not practical or logical, he knows that his own fire will eventually snuff him out, melt his wax down to nothing, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s not sure he can do anything else, even if presented with the option. He wouldn’t know where to even start.

But it looks like he won’t find that particular answer today.

“Hey there, angst lord,” comes an unwelcome yet expected voice. He wasn’t particularly _quiet_ in his approach, pulling Vax from his rather depressing circle of thoughts, and Vax valiantly attempts to resist the urge to roll all eight of his eyes. He fails.

“What do you want,” he demands, clipped and already out of patience. He’s in the process of wiping down a table, another punishment for dropping the ball in one of Argok’s operations. Which he can admit was absolutely his fault, but _gods above_ , the guards are so hard to work with. The night crowd seems much more his speed, well some of them, but he doesn’t work with them as much as the daytime guards and well, is it _really_ fair to blame it all on Vax when Red was clearly egging him on?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

The spiral clears his throat and Vax succeeds in not frowning, but just barely. He’s not in the mood to deal with idiots and this particular idiot, for some unfathomable reason, has decided that Vax is one of his favorite dragons to annoy. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s been trying to do better, for Ausha and Dak. And Lyuze. If it weren’t for that, then he’d strangle the drake currently trying to get his attention via poking him like a bored hatchling. Instead, he half heartedly swipes at the next poking attempt, knocking a dark scaled hand away with a loud smack.

“Touchy, touchy,” Zaiku sing songs, unaffected by the blow, before settling himself in the chair across from Vax, wrapping his wiry body around the wooden back. He weaves his fingers together, as a show of nonchalance, which immediately sets Vax’s teeth on edge.

The spiral stays quiet for a bit, eyes roving over him like he’s being _inspected_ or something and Vax is almost baited into asking again, but Zaiku doesn’t hold out long enough. He pitches forward, his facial tattoos and purple eyes glittering. “Alright, here’s the deal. We’re planning on throwing a party this evening to celebrate the new year and everyone is gonna be there, which means _you’re_ going to be there and if I have to get Ausha to drag you there by your tail, then I absolutely will, don’t test me, buddy.”

“We’re not buddies.”

“Ouch. Consider me officially heartbroken.”

“Considered.”

Zaiku gives an exaggerated pout, slumping all the way down on the table between them. “Come on,” he whines, flapping his hands under his dark cloak. “It’s a party! It’s supposed to be lively and fun, _why do you hate fun?_ ”

Vax taps his wicked claws on the table in a steady, calming rhythm, in an attempt to resist the previous urge to reach across and _strangle_ his annoying guest. He takes a deep breath, as subtle as possible, and leans his weight against the rough edge of the table. Directing another glare in Zaiku’s direction, he deadpans, “Seeing others have fun personally offends me.”

This time, Zaiku is the one rolling his eyes. “Alright, you can pack away your biting wit. I’m serious, man. Boss lady and her bae are starting to worry about you.”

And that startles him, because he knows he’s been in a bit of a funk lately, could feel the darkness he’s normally able to keep at bay creeping past his defenses, poisoning his thoughts and mood, but he hadn’t thought anyone would catch on. He’s a good actor, he _had_ to be for his old job, so the fact that Ausha and Dak had noticed pulls at something in him, stretching the scars in his heart uncomfortably.

So Vax does what he always does when he’s uncomfortable. He falls back on his age old anger. He shoves away from the table he’d been leaning against, the table’s legs screeching across the ground with the force of it, and grits out a strained “I’m _fine_.” Zaiku startles backwards, eyes wide. They stare at each other for a few moments, Vax’s tail whipping behind him like an angry cat before Zaiku breaks, lifting his clawed hands up in a non threatening gesture. His face splits into a shiny smile, optimistic but plotting all at once.

“Look, you don’t have to participate in any of the games. I’m sure a lot of the others won’t either, but there’ll be snacks and drinks and other stuff you can do! You just gotta show up. Please? It’d mean a lot to them.”

No need to clarify who _them_ is. He can clearly picture Ausha’s hopeful smile and Dak’s encouraging nod, but Vax is nothing if not stubborn, so he folds his arms, grinds his jaw and pointedly looks away.

Zaiku is not disheartened by his obvious attempt to ignore him and instead gives him a conniving smirk. “There will be alcohol to drown out all that anger of yours.”

And before Vax can snap _I’d like to drown you in your own blood you twirly fucker_ and stalk off like he has every right to, his leaders’ disappointed faces be damned, his mouth suddenly gains a mind of its own and the words _fine, whatever_ are leaving his lips without his permission.

Zaiku lets out a ridiculously loud victory yell before zooming off, a _cool no take backsies, you won’t regret it, it starts at dusk okay bye!_ thrown carelessly over his shoulder.

Vax slumps against the table, surprised and horrified at himself for agreeing like a fucking dumbass. Once Lyuze gets wind of this, she wont let him back out.

He’s later proven correct when he rounds the corner to grab something from his personal den, ( _look if he wants to drink himself into a drunken stupor so he doesn’t have to go to this stupid party, then he’s_ allowed _to do that_ ) and runs into Lyuze, who is bright eyed and bushy tailed and _I can’t believe you’re coming, I’m so excited!_

Lyuze, who is an exception to his bubble of distance, his shield. Lyuze, who genuinely enjoys his company and the one dragon he’d consider a true friend.

He doesn’t deserve her.

But he keeps that to himself as she drags him to her workshop, where she tinkers with some scrolls and small metal projects, talking a mile a minute the whole time. She does maintenance on her metal parts and gestures wildly and Vax is ridiculously endeared by it all. She soon grows restless, all her excited energy has her practically vibrating, so they head off to kill some time. They end up grabbing some snacks from Pleo, who is always happy to oblige, and take a walk around the perimeter after their stomachs are no longer growling. Lyuze chats about her latest ideas and experiments, only stopping when they run into someone else, and the familiar routine soothes some of Vax’s nerves about the massive party he’s been suckered into, even though he technically agreed to it but not really because he’s almost one hundred percent sure that Zaiku used some kind of spell on him but that’s besides the point.

The point is that he’s going to suffer and he really kind of _doesn’t_ want to go but then Lyuze mentions how excited she is and Vax can’t bring himself to say anything, so instead he sucks it up and tries not to be too much of a downer, which he probably fails at.

When the sun has dipped low enough in the sky, they make their way to the center of the lair. The process is slow going, since Vax is trying his hardest to delay the inevitable for as long as possible and Lyuze is easy to distract. When they finally show up in the Heart, a little dirty and absolutely late, Vax takes one look around the lair’s largest cavern and regrets at least fifteen of his latest life decisions. Maybe twenty.

When Zaiku said everyone would be here, turns out, for _once_ , he wasn’t joking.

He watches on in horror as others begin to notice his appearance, but before anyone can crowd him and ask questions, Lyuze tugs him towards the corner where he can make out Ezra and Raion talking over drinks and plates full of sugary looking snacks. 

“Hey guys!” Lyuze calls out enthusiastically, and the pair greet her with smiles and shy waves. He can tell the exact moment they register his presence because their smiles drop a fraction as they exchange a nervous glance.

Which he’s not mad about, really. Raion and Ezra are gentle souls and while he’s under no impression that they’re helpless and unable to fight if needed, given their jobs they can’t really be, he’s also aware of himself. He knows the effect he has on a lot of the others and he can’t begrudge them for their wariness. He’s never given them a reason not to be. But Raion and Ezra are nothing if not sweet and polite and as Lyuze and Vax reach their table, their smiles are back at full force, if a little strained.

“Hi Lyuze, Vax,” Ezra says quietly, barely heard over the raucous noise. Raion echoes the greeting and Vax takes note that his familiar, Dojin, is nowhere in sight. 

Lyuze voices his observation and Raion goes into what sounds to be a rather long and supposedly funny story about how his yeti somehow got caught in the middle of an alchemical explosion and Vax’s already low threshold for social interaction wobbles precariously. Raion goes on to reassure them that he wasn’t hurt, _thank the gods_ , Vax can’t help but think sarcastically, but his normally white fur has apparently turned a spectacular shade of pink.

So fucking interesting, _wow_. 

He’s being an asshole, he _knows_ he is, but this is exactly the type of situation that he’s been dreading this whole time and of course he’d get caught up in something like this _five fucking minutes_ into this godsforsaken party.

His tail is twitching so much, he’s gonna knock something over. 

_I’m going to kill someone. Preferably Zaiku._

As time passes and the three of them slowly fall into deep conversation about whatever it is they usually talk about, Vax silently makes his exit and hightails it to the bar where Skerol has been mixing fancy looking drinks all night, judging from the many dragons holding cups of fizzing and bubbling, well, _something _.__

____

____

As he slides into one of the wooden stools, he realizes that he’s not the only one taking refuge from the over zealous crowd. Two seats over, sans his intimidating armor and sipping on a rather dark, swirly looking drink, is Yin. His wings are folded in as tightly as possible and his long tail is coiled around the legs of his stool and the whole image has to sink into his brain one piece at a time before fully registering.

The shock of seeing the skydancer fixed to one spot and not ghosting his way out of the lair like some kind of spirit almost drowns out his curiosity as to what he’s actually doing here. Because there’s no way he’s here to live it up at some stupid clan party. He doesn’t know much, or anything really, about Yin but one thing he does know is that he is _not_ a partier. He’s not about to complain about his presence though. There are other members he’d much rather complain about, like a certain shadow representative. Besides, he holds a tentative and wary respect for the skydancer, partly because, from the few times they’ve spoken, Yin is one of the few that has never mentioned or outwardly reacted to his mutation. But mostly because Vax has the nagging feeling that if they were ever to truly go toe to toe, the skydancer would absolutely kick his ass.

He has mixed feelings about that.

He stares a little longer than is probably socially acceptable and Yin must feel eyes on him because he turns and they make eye contact. Yin raises a brow, almost like a question, before raising his drink with a nod.

Seeing as he has no drink to return the gesture, Vax simply nods back.

When he finally manages to flag Skerol down and get her to make him a drink, nothing specific as long as it’s strong, he finally looks around and takes in the sheer amount of dragons currently in the main cave.

There’s some dancing going on in the middle, led by Eirwen and Ribaia, of course. Vax had to sidle along the wall earlier to avoid being whacked by a stray tail or five. Games are being played in every corner, like the poker game where it looks like Zaiku and Thore are cheating, there’s a more amicable group playing some kind of board game that was probably fished out of one of the dusty junk closets, and Ausha is laughing loudly as Dak attempts to keep up with her in a drinking game. There are others that seem to just be standing around or gathered around tables, chatting, some with drinks or with a plate full of snacks, simply enjoying the atmosphere.

And the atmosphere is good, he’ll admit. The decorations are simple and not too tacky and the music is loud enough to hear but not bothersome. The murmur of familiar voices is almost comforting, knowing that everyone here is someone he _knows_ , and that he’s not in a room full of strangers whose intentions he needs to guess and _fast_ , otherwise it’s _his_ hide on the line and the information he needs is important and he is not getting scolded again by the higher ups for his supposed lack of competence because he knows what he’s doing and the risks he’s taking every time he goes on a job but it’s better than being back in that godsforsaken cage and he needs answers and _fuck_ his legs are on _fire_ -–

His throat constricts and he comes back to himself with a snap. He evens out his erratic breathing, something of which he doesn’t remember losing control of, and attempts to uncoil the sudden tension in his body. _Shit, calm the fuck down, it’s just a stupid party._

Gods, he'd just wanted to be left alone so _why is he here?_

Skerol comes back with a hideous yellow drink with suspicious chunks floating in it and before he can open his mouth to complain because _what the fuck_ , she silences him with just a turn of her head because even though he can’t see her eyes through her eye cover, he can feel her glaring at him. 

Well, he did say that he had no preference. 

He’s taking a cautious sip of his drink when he makes eye contact with Yin again, who seems unbothered by everything happening around them. The bar is situated along the furthest wall from all the different entrances, so it’s somewhat out of the way, but that doesn’t mean that they’re secluded.

From what he’s heard, since he himself normally never comes to these things either, Yin is never at these kinds of events. And he’s been a member for a long time, longer than Vax himself.

Curiosity piqued, Vax finds himself battling the urge to just outright _ask_.

He does not win said battle. “What are you doing here?” He blurts, the words falling from his mouth like stones into water, with an obnoxious and heavy plop. He almost wishes he could take them back.

But Yin turns to look at him, raising a brow at his somewhat accusing tone. “Am I not allowed to be here?” He asks, though it doesn’t really sound like a question, more like a challenge.

Vax tries valiantly to shrug off his social ineptitude and thinks, _well fuck it_ , and goes with telling the truth. “Was just curious, I guess.”

There’s a moment, where Yin turns back to his drink and takes a small sip, and Vax thinks that that’s that and the skydancer won’t actually give him an answer because Vax was rude and offended him because he’s an _idiot_ , but then he swallows, turns back and says, “I was guilted into it.”

Vax feels something in him loosen and fails to stop the short laugh that escapes him. “Guess we’re kindred spirits tonight then.”

Yin makes a vaguely intrigued sound. “So I’m not the only one who was coerced,” he says thoughtfully, the rim of his cup just barely pressing against his mouth.

Vax snorts, swirling the liquid in his own cup, tapping the glass with twitchy fingers. “How’d they get you?”

“With a combination of Ausha’s sad pouting and Pleo being quietly disappointed in me.”

Vax internally winces. That’s a dangerous combination for sure, no wonder the guy is here. He shoots Yin a look. “They gave you no mercy.”

Yin hums in agreement, before taking another swig of his drink. He gulps it down quietly and Vax notices, not for the first time, that everything Yin does is quiet. It’s a bit unnerving. “What about you?”

“Fucking Zaiku,” he deadpans before finally gulping his drink with gusto. His throat clicks as he guzzles the liquid down, enjoying the burn and the taste. Looks like Skerol knows her stuff after all.

Yin nods. “He hypnotized you, didn’t he.”

Vax chokes, snorting liquid out of his nostrils. “He _what?_ ” He manages the words between coughs, but only just barely, hacking up liquid loud enough to draw stares. His wings spread unconsciously to help keep his balance so he doesn’t go tumbling off his stool like a fucking moron.

There’s subtle amusement pulling at Yin’s lips but Vax is too busy furiously replaying his encounter with that _demon_ to notice. He _knew_ something was weird! But he hadn’t felt like he was being hypnotized. Isn’t there normally like a pull or something? A tell or echo of some kind? Granted, he’s not the most knowledgeable about things like that, but from what little he’s gathered, hypnosis is something that only works on the weak minded. Or so he thought.

“Zaiku has almost unparalleled skill in the power of suggestion,” Yin says, still amused, which this time Vax does notice, and promptly scowls in embarrassment. Yin continues, undeterred, and hands him a wiping cloth that he pulls from absolutely nowhere. “You wouldn’t have noticed the usual signs of hypnosis since they wouldn’t have been there to begin with.”

Well, that makes him feel a little better about himself.

He takes the cloth with a grumbled _thank you_ and wipes his mouth before folding the cloth and wiping down his now damp section of the bar. “You speaking from experience?” he mumbles, half joking, voice scratchy as he continues to cough and clear his throat.

Yin chuckles lowly, his thin shoulders rising and falling with the motion underneath his bright ass red mantle. He tilts his head in Vax’s direction and says, mouth forming a shadow of a crooked smirk, “You could say that.” His tone is almost sardonic and something about it catches Vax’s attention.

There’s something there, Vax thinks, something dark and sharp and hidden. But then again, there’s just something about Yin in general that feels like there’s something, a lot of somethings, sharp and painful somethings, hidden from sight.

Though not all of those things are hidden, but that doesn’t make them any less mysterious. Like the deep scar over his eye. Like his strange sword that no one has ever seen him wield. Like how he’s practically never in the lair. Like the strange shadow symbol on his hip with three jagged scars, two of them bisecting it in thick, uneven strips. The other is close to the seal, but higher up towards the end of his wing. They’re deep, but old, and the whole thing looks painful and wrong, but Vax can’t exactly explain why it looks so–- _off._

Unconsciously, his eyes had drifted down to where he knows the signia to be and he snaps his eyes back up to his cup, the bar, Skerol, anywhere that isn’t Yin’s hip, hoping that Yin hadn’t caught him staring.

When he’s finally brave enough to make eye contact with the skydancer again, he knows that he had definitely been seen. Though he doesn’t look angry, just-–blank, inscrutable. Vax thinks that it’s almost like looking at something that died, eyes lifeless and expression nonexistent.

There’s a thick silence before Yin finally asks, “Enjoying the party?” and Vax nods, taking the distraction for what it is, though Yin’s tone is anything but jovial. His polite tone and countenance have been replaced with dark, ever expanding walls thicker than Nacro and Nero’s skulls put together and somehow, in that split second, it feels as though Vax has lost the only other dragon here that seems to understand how he’s feeling.

He’s more affected by that then he thought he’d be.

It takes a minute for his own hypocrisy to hit him and Vax mentally berates himself for doing _exactly _what he hates others doing to him. Staring openly, _rudely_ , at something that is _none_ of their business. Gods, he’s an idiot. __

____

____

He probably should apologize but he doesn’t know if that would help or damn him even further. Offhandedly, he thinks about how he doesn’t remember the last time he apologized to someone.

He’s unaware of whether he intended to apologize or not, but either way, he’s stopped from doing so when Yin downs the last bit of his drink and smoothly slides his newly empty cup to Skerol, who catches it easily without looking despite standing at the other end of the bar chatting with Reda.

Vax follows the motion with his eyes before squinting at the skydancer suspiciously. “I don’t like her,” he says without thinking instead.

“Why not?”

Vax startles at the question, positive that Yin had been angry with him a second ago for being–-well, _him._ But Yin is looking at him now like he expects a genuine answer, no hint of that deathlike blankness from before.

“She’s annoying and asks too many questions,” he says lamely, taking the metaphorical olive branch with all the grace and subtlety of a savannah rambra.

“I don’t mind her,” is Yin’s simple response.

And then the silence settles over them once again, but it’s not uncomfortable this time. Yin seems back to his normal, stoic, dry humored self, even bantering with Skerol when she comes over to refill their drinks and pester Yin with questions that would piss Vax off, but Yin just shrugs them off with a deadpan comment and a barely there smirk on his face.

Vax lets himself fade into the background, listening to their back and forth while turning in his chair to check on Lyuze. She’s still in the corner with Raion and Ezra, but it looks like Carmine has joined them and they’re all laughing at some story she’s enthusiastically recounting, grand sweeping gestures and ridiculous facial expressions included.

He watches the scene with something like warm pride because Lyuze is doing so well for herself, so different from when she first came to the clan, and he can’t help but be awed by her drive to be better, to be happy, to love when she was abandoned by those who should have never even considered that an option. They have some similarities, he thinks, but Lyuze has always carried her burdens with a bright smile and a warm heart and Vax wishes to all the gods that he had been more like Lyuze.

But there’s no going back now. 

And if he’s being honest with himself, he can’t say that he regrets it and mean it, that would be a lie. So he watches Lyuze and thinks to himself _at least she’s happy, if not me then at least her,_ because out of the two of them, it’s no contest on who deserves it more.

“Hey, dumbass.”

Vax whips his head around fully prepared to bite the sky dancer’s head off but Skerol is grinning at him and tapping his forgotten glass. “You want another refill? I know you’re still recovering from squirting alcohol out of your nose. Drown out the humiliation you should absolutely be feeling.”

Vax’s jaw drops. _What the fuck._ “What the fuck.”

Yin’s lips twitch and Skerol’s grin widens and somehow it feels like he’s being welcomed into—into something. Instead of giving her the satisfaction of a response, he just pushes his glass across the bar where it glides into Skerol’s waiting palm.

She giggles and turns around to fix him up another drink.

Vax grumbles to himself about pushy bartenders and, feeling eyes on him, turns around to see Lyuze watching him. She grins, big and sweet, when he catches her eye and nods in Skerol and Yin’s direction. _Having fun?_ She mouths silently, and he feels flustered for some reason, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. Like he should feel bad that he’s not having a terrible time at this party anymore. But that’s ridiculous so he powers through the feeling and nods anyway. Lyuze turns back to her friends with a satisfied gleam in her eyes.

Skerol slides him his new drink and he contents himself with watching the party grow rowdier, his back pressed into the stone slab that makes the bar’s top. More dancing seems to be happening than before and the din of noise that had only been a reassuring hum at his back grows until it blankets the whole tavern with energy.

Yin, Skerol and himself seem to be the only ones not participating.

Yin is watching though, like him, and Vax tries to follow his line of sight to see who he’s looking at but the more he tries the more it feels like Yin isn’t really focused on what’s in front of him. He’s looking without seeing, eyes shadowed and still, not tracking any of the energetic movements before them.

Vax doesn’t know where the sudden urge to pry comes from, maybe the alcohol is making him nosier than he would normally be, but it hits him full force, slamming into him like a raging beast, and Vax is suddenly burning with questions that have been plaguing him all night. 

It’s been almost torturous, to have this walking mystery keep him company all night, only to end up with more questions than answers. And for the first time in a long time, since Lyuze, he _wants_ to know someone’s story, wants to know what makes them tick, what makes Yin tick. He’s not sure why or what he’s hoping for. Maybe he just wants someone who understands and he has the gut feeling that Yin could be that someone.

“How do you do it?” Vax finally blurts, shattering the overshadowed silence between them. Which was not the question he had wanted to ask but, well, it’s not a bad start.

Because even though Yin is harder to read than a brick wall, Vax _knows_ that within those eyes there’s a storm. He doesn’t know the depth or weight of it, but he knows it’s there and _gods_ , he just. He needs to know how Yin can walk around like his storm doesn’t matter because Vax just. Can’t. 

He can’t but he feels like he should.

Yin’s eyes are on him when he says, “Do what?” He speaks softly, but his eyes are sharp, almost wary. It almost makes Vax hesitate.

Almost.

But he needs to know so he repeats his question, all his eyes meeting that gaze, focused and desperate. “How do you do it? How do you–-” _act like you’re okay when you’re not?_ “-–act so calm when shit just sucks?” _How do you not yell your anger to the skies about the fucked up mess your life has become? How can you not crave justice, need those responsible to pay?_

Yin looks away, and Vax follows his gaze to the rather ridiculous dance off happening before them. Laughter and excited yelling bounces off the cavern walls as Eirwen and Ribaia execute a rather impressive move, much to the chagrin of their competition. However, it doesn’t deter Thore and Zaiku from knotting themselves together in an uncharacteristically graceful manner, their bodies weaving looping symbols in the air.

Everyone goes wild at a rather impressive looking swirl and Vax turns back to Yin. His face hasn’t changed, his profile is just as severe and sharp as usual, but there’s something in his eyes that Vax can’t place.

“I do it because I didn’t have a choice,” he finally speaks, voice quiet and low. He breathes in like he’s about to speak again and Vax leans in, straining to get closer to this dragon who inspires so many questions, who Vax can’t figure out for the life of him, but suddenly and desperately, he really wants to.

There’s a thunderous round of applause but Vax is close enough to hear Yin’s quiet, “I’ve done a lot of things because I didn’t have a choice.”

And with those words, there’s suddenly so much more that Vax needs to know. _What happened? Who hurt you? What did you do? How did you end up here?_

__

__

_Who are you?_

But it looks like he won’t be getting answers to any of those questions tonight because Yin speaks again, nodding in Lyuze’s direction. “Though having someone makes things easier.”

Vax doesn’t bother to hide his fondness as he watches Lyuze clumsily dance with a grinning Ferrilata. “Do you have someone?” He’s always wondered. If Vax has at least one friend then surely Yin does too, but he’s never really seen him interact with anyone outside of Ausha, Dak and Pleo for official business reasons.

But he gets his answer as he watches Yin’s gaze slide towards the far right corner, where he turns to see Tiakken sitting at a table talking with Arbol. A plate of half eaten snacks sits between them.

Vax hums thoughtfully. “The scribe?” 

Now that he thinks about it, there have been times, conversations he’s overheard in passing of the two being seen together, others witnessing the pair together in the library and he feels stupid for not putting it together. Though to be fair, both Yin and Tiakken seem to be masters at subtlety.

Yin nods. “He’s helped me more than he’ll ever know.”

Vax nods because yeah, it’s the same with him and Lyuze.

They watch as the dancing dies down, the music fading back to the atmospheric tune that had been playing before. Vax can’t tell who won the dance off because everyone looks happy and hugs are being dealt out like they just can’t stop themselves, but he zeroes in on Lyuze who is caught up in a group hug, laughing and smiling like she’s having the time of her life.

The rest of the party seems to fly by. Occasionally he and Yin will talk with Skerol butting in every once in a while, but it’s mostly silent between them. It’s not a heavy silence though, something that Vax is extremely grateful for. He feels more at ease than he has in, well, a long time. It could potentially be the alcohol, but he’d only had a couple glasses, probably, and he’s not a lightweight by any means. Whatever it is, it’s nice and he lets himself bask in the feeling for once.

He’s not sure what time it is now, but he’s guessing it’s late when the others eventually start screaming _happy new year!_ and things get rowdy again, complete with everyone, even those not quite sober anymore, shouting and singing their thanks and wishes for the upcoming year, as is tradition in Penumbraladin. It’s all ridiculous and loud and while Vax and Yin don’t join, they watch on with differing levels of fondness.

Once the party is officially declared over, everyone takes part in clean up per the rules. Vax stands, stretching his legs, which he belatedly realizes haven’t bothered him once all night. Shocked, he turns to Yin only to find him gone.

Well, it was only a matter of time. He shouldn’t be this disappointed.

Feeling more dejected than he really has any right to, Vax turns back to the bar to finish his drink. He gulps it down in one go before sliding the cup back to Skerol, who he now knows will catch it even if it seems like she’s not paying attention.

He gazes around, looking to find a secluded corner to clean by himself and frowns when he finds none. Every area is crowded with members cleaning and chatting, laughs rippling through the air as the party finally comes to a close.

He’s about to sneak out, he’s not cleaning with all these drunk dragons stumbling around, before he catches Yin in a relatively empty spot, plucking dishes off tables with long, slender fingers.

Vax joins him without a thought. He swipes some cups and gains Yin’s attention, who simply acknowledges him with a pointed stare before jerking his head towards the next table. “You want to get the cups while I grab the plates?”

Vax nods, surprised. “Yeah.”

They work well together, which makes Vax’s chest fill with something warm and solid, but he ignores it, attempts to squish it down in favor of gathering all the cups that he can possibly manage at once before turning on his heel and stalking into the kitchen.

He plops them on the counter next to the sink, where Pleo and Reda have already started washing and drying before heading back out to finish gathering the rest of the cups.

He finishes just as Yin brings in his last armful of plates and Pleo thanks both of them with a sunny smile.

They duck out with the intention of finishing clean up, but the trash has already been picked up, decorations taken down, and the stools and chairs are being placed on the tabletops. The crowd has thinned, most of the members probably heading straight for bed despite it already being early morning to sleep the alcohol off. 

He doesn’t remember if Lyuze drank at all, but he should probably check on her, just to make sure she’s alright and not off by herself, drunk and unsupervised.

“I’m gonna go find Lyuze,” he says to Yin, eyes already scanning the crowd for his cyborg friend.

Yin doesn’t verbally respond and if he nods or gestures in any way, Vax doesn’t see it. But one moment he’s scanning the crowd and the next, he glances to his side and Yin is, once again, gone.

He doesn’t feel as angry about it this time though.

Another scan through leads him to a gaggle of dragons that are slowly but surely attempting to work themselves into leaving, but are too distracted by conversation and heavy limbs to actually make any moves to exit the main cavern.

Lyuze is among them, giggling at something Mordo said, whose lion headdress is lopsided and slowly falling off his head. He says something else, eyes twinkling with mirth, and both dragons laugh loudly.

Vax puts every ounce of _stern disappointed mentor_ he can into his demeanor and loudly stalks up to the group like he’s about to fucking chew their asses out. He’s not, but the looks of fear on their faces when he reaches them will be a source of amusement for him for a long time.

“Shouldn’t you all be doing something?” He asks archly, staring pointedly at them with all eight eyes. Lyuze, who is immune to his scary face, ( _her words not his_ ) watches as the others scramble to their feet and book it to the tunnels, Mordo bringing up the rear as he stumbles over his own feet. Their exit is followed by blissful silence. 

Vax returns his stare to Lyuze, who stares back. “You did that on purpose.”

He grins, unashamed. “Absolutely.”

They laugh, tired but warm, and Vax basks in the moment before pulling Lyuze to her feet. She stumbles a bit, her metal feet almost crushing his toes, but he manages to help her gain her balance. She blinks slowly before shaking her head. “I think I had more to drink than I thought.”

“I can see that,” Vax quips. He doesn’t shrug her off when she loops their arms together which earns him a sleepy grin and together they slowly make their way to their personal dens.

“I’m glad you had fun,” he says truthfully once they reach the twisting halls of the clan’s personal lairs. He playfully knocks his shoulder into hers, genuine in his happiness for his friend.

Lyuze grins, returning the gesture.”I wasn’t the only one enjoying myself,” she says smugly, earning her a playful tail wack. She returns the favor, laughing at whatever expression is on his face. “Though,” she continues, “it would have been cool if Rhys and Connor had been here, but I know they had stuff going on with their own clan, so I didn’t want to push and make them decide. That would have been rude of me.”

“They don’t really strike me as the types who would enjoy wild parties like that.” Nevermind that he himself hadn’t wanted to go and still ended up enjoying himself anway. 

“That’s true,” Lyuze admits quietly, her grin fading, and she sounds so disheartened that Vax can’t help but try to bring that smile back.

He ducks to catch her gaze. “Maybe you can plan something small, with just the three of you.”

And just like that, Lyuze is back to her beaming self. “Oh! That’s a great idea!”

As Lyuze mutters ideas and plans to herself, intent on spending time with two of her close friends, Vax thinks of bar top conversations and weird alcoholic drinks and feels content. He decides that, despite his initial hatred of the idea, going to the party had been good for _both_ of them. Vax grins fondly to himself as Lyuze begins to gesture with her hands, metal claws slicing through the air without a thought. 

_Yeah. It was a good night._

~/~/~/~

Early the next morning, he’s tempted to recant his previous thoughts when he wakes up with a massive headache and sore limbs. The latter isn’t an uncommon occurrence for him, but the former must be from those monstrous drinks Skerol had been mixing for him.

 _Just how much alcohol did she dump in those things?_ He thinks darkly, rising from his nest of feathers to hunt down some fucking water or _something_. The taste in his mouth is absolutely awful, and coming from him, that’s saying something.

By some miracle, he manages to stumble into the kitchen cove without slamming into any walls or tripping over his own feet, though he definitely almost drops the glass he takes from the shelves two or seven times.

He sucks down a whole glass before filling it back up and drinking at a more sedated pace. It’s early, so there’s not a lot of foot traffic yet and the kitchen is empty, so Vax takes the time to appreciate the rare and welcome silence. The dull throbbing in his skull appreciates it as well.

He’s just finished his second glass when Yin appears out of nowhere, giving him a heart attack that he will _never_ admit to.

Yin, the bastard, smirks like he knows anyway. “I think you need more beauty sleep. Seems like it didn’t take.”

Vax would roll his eyes but he doesn’t want to make his headache worse so instead he settles for a snort. “Har har, so hilarious. I’m dying.”

“I aim to please.”

It’s only then that Vax notices that Yin looks refreshed and dressed for a hunt. His spiked armor is back on along with his wicked-looking sword, strapped to his hip like it was always meant to be there. The bright red mantle sits on his shoulders like lead.

It clicks then. “You’re leaving.”

Yin nods, heavy earrings jangling with the movement. “I have business to attend to.”

And what a perfect opening to ask _what_ exactly that said business is, but if he learned anything from last night, it’s that pushing Yin is like pushing at a brick wall. You can push and push and push but it won’t get you anywhere. So he refrains. For now.

“Well don’t have too much fun without me,” he says instead. It feels awkward, the words clunky in his mouth, falling like heavy, slushy snow. Loud splat and all. He suppresses a groan.

Yin either doesn’t notice, doesn’t care, or is just ignoring his social ineptitude. He checks his straps and readjusts his sword before straightening and angling his body towards the exit.

And Vax realizes this is the last time he’s going to see Yin for who knows how long, his trips last anywhere from a couple weeks to _months_ , and finds that he suddenly has a lot to say.

“Thank you,” Vax blurts loudly before he can talk himself out of it.

Yin turns and tilts his head in question. “For what exactly?” But there’s a shadow of a smirk there and a smug note in his voice, like he already knows the answer, but is just waiting for Vax to acknowledge it. And normally that would piss him off, but after everything that Yin had helped him with last night, whether it was on purpose or not, he can’t bring himself to snap his ire.

So instead he takes a deep breath and mumbles, “For talking with me last night. I think–-I mean, it helped a lot or whatever.”

Despite his awkward fumbling, Yin stares at him, those abyss-like eyes unreadable as always, but somehow Vax gets the impression that he’s being considered.

Yin finally speaks, his words cautious, like he’s not sure if it’s something Vax wants to hear. “You looked about ten seconds away from clawing your way out of your skin. It seemed like you needed it.”

And somehow, those words are a smack in the face and yet also reassuring. Because that means that–-it means Yin _sees_ him. Unlike his usual routine of standing in corners or not being present at all, Yin had deliberately approached him, to talk to him or calm him down or whatever the fuck he’d wanted to achieve and it’d _worked_. Vax actually had fun. And it spoke a lot about his state of mind that it hadn’t registered as strange to Vax. Maybe he’d been worse off than he thought, maybe it was the drinks, but Yin had reached for him and Vax had subconsciously taken hold and refused to let go.

He’s suddenly overwhelmed by the implications of that. And the small, private bubble of admiration for the skydancer that he’d been hiding deep within his chest _swells._

“Why?” He can’t help but ask. He refuses to acknowledge the crack in his voice.

Yin is silent before cocking his head almost playfully. “Why not?”

Vax huffs at the vague answer. He gets the feeling that this will become a common occurrence if they continue to interact after tonight. Which he finds himself hoping that they will. “Why are you such a cryptic bastard?” 

“Why not?”

If Vax thought that he could successfully deck the skydancer and get away with it, he’d do it in a heartbeat. “Asshole.” 

That gets a chuckle out of Yin and Vax feels weirdly proud about it.

“Well, have fun,” Vax says after a couple seconds of silence.

“Didn’t you just tell me not to have too much fun?”

Vax is going to _claw_ his eyes out. In the name of friendship, of course. Shit, are they friends now?

 _Yes_ , says a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Lyuze. He ignores it.

“Gods _nevermind_ , just leave, bye.”

Yin shakes his head and heads for the tunnel that will lead him to the lair’s exit. “I’ll make sure to have so much fun, just for you.”

“You do that,” Vax says, failing to suppress a grin.

And as he watches Yin disappear into the lair’s dark caves, bright red mantle and all, Vax thinks that, when the skydancer returns, he’d like to have another drink with him.

But maybe with someone other than Skerol as the bartender.

**Author's Note:**

> vax: i hate everyone except lyuze don't talk to me
> 
> also vax: SHIT ARE ME AND YIN FRIENDS NOW
> 
> what an angry dumbass i love him so much
> 
> anyway thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed this completely self indulgent mess


End file.
